


Go Home, Kid

by Cail



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bartender Bro, Drunk Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3997399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cail/pseuds/Cail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’ve been a bartender for almost ten years now, you have seen almost all the tricks, know all the secrets, you can tell when someone is somewhere they shouldn’t be. So, when this spiky haired, tank top wearing pretty boy strolled up to the bar you were immediately shaking your head. There was no fucking way this kid was old enough to drink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ANONYMOUS SAID;  
> BroDirk with bartender!Bro and Dirk who somehow managed to get in the club while being underage but Bro isn't fooled and refuse to serve him alcohol because he's a responsible adult and get him a caprisun from the fridge instead (or maybe not and Dirk ends up a lot tipsy, up to you)

You’ve been a bartender for almost ten years now, you have seen almost all the tricks, know all the secrets, you can tell when someone is somewhere they shouldn’t be. So, when this spiky haired, tank top wearing pretty boy strolled up to the bar you were immediately shaking your head. There was no fucking way this kid was old enough to drink. But there he was, sliding into the stool right in front of you, propping his elbows on the counter and leaning in to inspect you. 

You give him a once over, noting that, holy shit, he looks uncannily like you. Even wearing the same shades, that was cool at least if not a bit weird. You try not to think about the fact that you find him attractive and raise a brow at him, “Our Juicy-juice flavors come in apple and grape.” 

He scoffs, “Thanks, but no thanks, I’ll take a Scotch on ice.” He deadpanned at you, reaching back like he was going to retrieve his wallet. You shook your head, holding a hand up.

“Yo, sorry, dude, you may have the bouncer fooled, but there is no way you’re 21.” You were leaning on the counter top as well, now, arching away from him some.

“I’m 20, chill, it’s okay, I’m responsible.” He taps his fingers against the bar, staring you down a bit.

“Nah, son, come back in a year for something like that. You want your Juicy-juice or not?” You point vaguely behind you even though there wasn’t a refrigerator there. He turns away, shaking his head and walks off somewhere. 

You don’t see him for a while, honestly, you almost forgot about him until you glanced up to see him flirting with some guy on the dance floor. He had a drink in his hand and you almost had half a mind to go tell the manager to get him thrown out, but then he turns to you, almost like he was staring you square in the eyes and smirks. You didn’t move.

Throughout the next hour he moves between men, flirting until they give him something to drink. You try to snatch each glass from him when you can, shoving a CapriSun into his hands. You don’t take them when he holds them in his hands and he picks up on that. Now he won’t put his glasses down, holding them to his chest, or even worse, in his lap. Sometimes you think about going for those and that makes you slip away from him for a while. 

When it gets to being closing time you don’t see him again. You sigh, assuming he finally went home, probably with someone, so you announce last call and people start making their way out. You serve up the last people then start the work in closing down the bar.

It takes you a while, but once you’re done you go collect your tips for the day and grab your bag and head out the back door. You’re immediately met with two hands curled into your shirt, pulling you back against a wall. You blink, taking in the sight of that same kid from earlier. He makes some sort of noise, and from the way his cheeks are flushed it’s obvious he’s drunk. Great.

“Kid, if ya want a fight you should probably wait until you can think st-” You don’t finish that sentence, he cuts you off with a quick kiss. When he pulls back he’s mumbling for you to shut up, so you do, mainly because he kisses you again, this time long and hard. You can’t help but to kiss back. Then he has his hands in your hair, your glasses clink against each others, but neither of you mind. He’s grinding against you now, you let out a breath of air you forgot you were holding and he grins against your lips. 

When you pull away he lingers, hands dropping down your neck and your chest and they stop to palm the front of your pants before he’s pulling away and walking off in the direction of the only employee car left in the parking lot. You take a second to collect yourself before all but running after him.

God help you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then they fuck.

One thing you did not expect to be doing at two A.M. post work was entertaining a drunk and horny kid. Well, he wasn’t a kid, but he damn well was not acting like a twenty year old. Or was he? What even did twenty year olds do nowadays? You’re too old for this.

Even entertaining was a lie since he was finding something to do himself, you on the other hand were driving, trying to not pull off the side of the road just so you can make it home safely. But that was tough with Dirk’s head pressed into the front of your jeans, his tongue was working relentlessly against the fabric, dampening it enough for you to feel his saliva against your skin. 

As gross as that sounds in theory, it was pretty nice in practice, most of the time he would put pressure against your hardening erection and you had to bite your lip to suppress any noise you wanted to give him. “Dude, can you chill for like a few minutes so I can make it to my place? I doubt this is a safe position for you, get off my dick.”

He grunted and moved his chin to rest on your thigh. He took his shades off before this and you were not surprised to see orange eyes brighter than your’s. It was comforting in a weird sort of way, but every time he looked up at you, you felt exposed, like he was not just looking at you, but looking in you, and it almost made you want to put up more walls, bury yourself further inside your body so he couldn’t get in. But that would not go well with what was happening now, so you tried not to think about it. 

He gives you a smirk that you barely miss, “You won’t be saying that later, I’m sure.”

You roll your eyes, but luckily he moves back fully into the passenger side, rolling his shoulder until it cracks. His hand stays on your thigh, though, rubbing up and down, but never close enough to that one area he would need to touch to get a reaction out of you.

That was almost worse, you almost wanted to pull over and fuck him right here, right now, and the idea of doing it in a public place makes your cock twitch enough to know you need to put some more serious thought in your kinks.

You make it to your apartment not long after that and you’re glad for the space he gives you while you both climb the stairs to the top floor. Both of your pants have very obvious bulges and that just made the excessive movement harder to do without complaining. Which he did a lot of, and you tried to tune him out. 

When you made it to your door, you fumbled with your keys just slightly. When you kicked your door open gently, he was grabbing your collar and forcing the both of you inside. You barely had a chance to close the door before you were being dragged to the bedroom and pushed over onto the bed. 

He was on top of you in seconds, kissing you with obvious need as his hands worked to pull your glasses and hat off with some resistance. You let him hold the kiss for a minute and then you were pushing him away. He seemed to be on the same page as you since he immediately went to remove his shirt, and somehow he did it flawlessly. You caught yourself watching the way his muscles flexed when his arms moved, and he dragged you back to reality by sliding his hands under your shirt, fingers hooking over it to drag it up your chest. You helped him by sitting up and soon your shirt was joining his on the floor. 

He went back to kissing you, and you allowed this, his mouth molded against yours perfectly and you had to admit that the kiss was doing more for you than his slow grinding against your crotch. Though those were nice, too. 

He seemed to be in a rush because he pulled back from the kiss after a little bit and trailed his tongue down your cheek to your neck, nipping at the skin there until faint bruises started to form. You made a few noises of encouragement and he seemed pleased by this. 

Dirk’s hands snaked their way between your bodies to unbutton and unzip both of your pants, slowly tugging them down enough to press the outline of his cock against yours, grinding hard enough to pull a gasp from both of your mouths. He kept this up while he worked his way down your neck to your collarbone, leaving a red and purple trail the entire way. It didn’t take long for that bone to be covered in marks as well, you could not find any way to complain, even if you wanted to.

Now you were the one getting antsy, so you pushed a hand against his chest and pointed to the nightstand. He understood without even having to make any indication to you. He pushed up and dropped the rest of his clothes onto the floor, kicking them off as he crossed over and started digging in drawers until he pulled out the bottle of lube you stashed in there. He held it up and you nodded when he turned his head over his shoulder. 

You were pushing yourself further onto the bed when he tossed the bottle near you. You left your pants on, somehow it felt more comfortable like that. Dirk was walking back over to you, and you were definitely staring, but he stopped and took a quick detour to pick up one of your unused hats, an orange one stacked atop the hat pile. There was enough moonlight coming in through your window that when he put the hat on and turned it to the side, flashing you a toothy, drunken grin, you could see his face clearly and it made your heart flutter. That was weird, you immediately pushed that to the back of your head, trying to ignore the way your heart was racing a little more to smirk at him and beckon him over with a finger. 

He climbed up into the bed again, reaching to grab the lube before settling onto your thighs. Before you could pull him down, he was flopping back against your legs, head resting into the curve of your foot, making the hat shift up off his hair slightly. You pushed up on your elbows enough to raise a brow at him and he gave you this sultry look in return that made your breath hitch. 

He spread his legs some, feet resting at your side, his toes tickling your ribs lightly as he uncapped the bottle and poured the lube out on his fingers. You were transfixed, watching with peaked interest as he reached back and slowly pushed a finger into himself. He gasped and paused for just a second before starting to pull that finger in and out, trying to relax his body. 

With the position he was in, you could easily watch his movements as well as his face, and you could not tell which was hotter. His eyes were lidded, teeth stressing against his bottom lip and every once in a while that mouth would open and let out a breath of air, it would send a shiver down your spine. 

Soon he was pushing a second finger in, stretching himself slowly, and you had enough of just watching. You reached out, sliding your hand down his thigh to settle on his balls, palming them slowly, fingers dancing up to tease the base of his cock with light touches and he practically mewled at the attention. You never noticed when he added a third finger, but you heard it in the way his breathing sped up and the way his head turned to the side. You reached out and wrapped your hand around his hard-on, slowly stroking him while he fucked himself on his fingers.

Once you decided he was loose and stretched enough you reached down to pull his fingers out and he whined at that. You chuckled in return, pulling him up by his hips, and he shuffled up on his knees to hover over your dick. Dirk reached down to slide you between his ass cheeks, holding you there with his hand as he started to grind up and down, pushing the excess lube he rubbed there onto your cock. You let your head fall back, a quiet moan escaping your throat, but as soon as you got used to it he was pulling back, grabbing you once more, but instead, guiding the tip to his entrance, rubbing it there until it was slick enough to slide in without much resistance. 

He was going slow now, lowering himself fully onto your dick, trying to get used to being filled up like this. You briefly wondered if he has ever done this before, but your thoughts were cut off when his hands fell onto your chest and he started to lift himself up and push back down. You sighed out of your nose in pleasure, your hands moving over to stroke at his thighs, encouraging him in your own silent way. He was still wearing your hat, you thought it looked pretty good on him, actually. 

He was quick to find a nice pace, bouncing up and down on your cock, his fingers scratching pink lines into your chest as his moans echoed the room. It did not surprise you that he was loud, hell you actually liked it. You wanted to grab his hips and push up into him, but you allowed him to have control. Every once in a while he would squeeze down on you and you could not help that it made you moan his name under your breath. From the way his cock would twitch, you assumed he liked hearing his name come out of your mouth. You could work with that. 

He slowly increased his speed, leaning back enough that he had to shift his hands from your chest to your knees, his hips rolling down against you faster, so you reached out to start stroking his cock in time with him and he cried out his approval. You let him keep this position for a while before you got fed up from lack of kisses so you pulled him down, sliding your hands up to cup his cheeks while you both tried to return the sloppy kiss.

After a few seconds you managed to lock onto him more, shifting the kiss to a more firm one, your tongue sliding against his while his breath ghosted against your cheek. You dropped your hands to his hips, gripping them tight to pull him down as you slammed up into him. He threw his head back, moaning loudly, chest arching against yours as you picked up the work in fucking him, continuously slamming him down against your throbbing cock, his own grinding against your abs.

His arms were wrapped tight against your neck as he alternated between kissing you and leaning up to call out in pleasure. It didn’t take long for you to feel that familiar sensation pooling, indicating that you were close, from the way he was shaking you could assume he was, too. 

You moved a hand between both of your chests, wrapping it around his dick and started to stroke him with vigor. After not even a minute he was cumming, his head thrown back, eyes shut closed as he screamed out your name, spilling himself hard and heavy over your chest. His ass tightened around you and that coaxed your own orgasm out, your hips stuttering while you buried yourself deep inside of him, filling him up with every last drop. 

He whined at that, his breathing now coming out in pants and you were certain yours were as well. Dirk’s head fell onto your shoulder, his body lax while he tried to recover himself. You, on the other hand, pulled out of him and wrapped your arms around his waist, rolling him to the side and up to a pillow, which he happily settled on, nuzzling his cheek into the plush material with a sigh. You reached over to pull the rest of your clothes off and his hat, throwing them over the bed before settling down next to him, draping your arm over him. He shuffled closer to you, hands curling into your chest and without warning he was fast asleep. You stayed up for a little while longer, brushing your fingers through his hair, but it did not take you long to pass out like that.

You’ll deal with this later in the morning, for now you just enjoyed the warmth Dirk emitted against you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated, wow.

Around nine in the morning, you finally wake up, rolling over to the side with a groan. You half expected there to be a body next to you, but alas, there was none. Maybe all of that was just a drunk dream, it probably never happened. 

You toss your legs over the side of your bed, hand running through your unstyled hair a few times, trying to push it back up on your head to no avail. You’ll fix it after a shower. 

You stand, stretching your arms above you until you hear something crack, then you pull on your pants, forgoing any underwear, because what was the fucking point right now? None, there is no point, underwear is for chumps that’s what. You vow to never wear underwear for the rest of your life because you are, in fact, not a chump. 

Who are you kidding, you’ll put on a fresh pair after your shower, that shit’s nasty. 

Exiting your bedroom you were immediately met with the smell of bacon cooking, and you momentarily wonder if you forgot you enacted that scene of The Office where Michael left bacon cooking on his George Foreman Grill last night, but you don’t remember fishing that out so…

He was here, that wasn’t a dream then? 

You quickly walk to the kitchen and… yeah, there he was, cooking bacon in the kitchen in only his boxers. “You still here, kid?” 

Dirk jumps a little, trying to brush it off by turning his head and shrugging, “I was hungry.”

“So, you’re going to eat all my bacon?” 

“Yes, but I didn’t forget about you.” He pauses, grinning and you fear whatever happens next. Dirk moves to the fridge, pulling out a bowl of oatmeal and holding it out for you. “Made it myself, enjoy.” 

“Joke’s on you, asshat, I fucking love oatmeal.” You snatch that bowl up from him, opening a drawer next to you to grab a spoon. You do make a show of stealing a piece of bacon though, just to hear him complain. “You didn’t vomit all over my bathroom did you?” 

“No, I contained myself and just walked out to your car to puke.” 

“You didn’t-”

“No, I didn’t.” Dirk’s all grins, you feel oddly compelled to punch him and see what happens, but you control yourself. 

“You must hold your alcohol well.” You say, moving over to sit on the top of the counter to watch him cook. Or… watch his ass while he cooks. Damn.

“I told you I was responsible.” 

“Going home with some old man is responsible to you? I need your mother’s number, I need to tell her how much she fucked up.” 

He scoffs, turning to give you a pointed stare. “She’s dead, and yes, because you are not alcohol, and when I said that it was in reference to me drinking.” 

“You still get my point, though.”

He nods, turning the stove off and pushing a plate of bacon to the side to cool off. Your bowl was swiped from your hands, tossed onto the counter next to you and replaced with his body. He was kissing at your collarbone, and this was very amusing to you seeing you towered over him like this. “What are you doing, kid?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Does one night stand mean anything to you or-?” You made a point of pushing his shoulder back, but he doesn’t budge. 

“It does, just not right now.” He was running his hands up your sides, fingers tickling your rib cage lightly. 

“It should, don’t think this is going to happen again.”

He snorts, pulling away from you to grab a piece of bacon. “Do you work today?” 

“Yes, where do you even work?” 

“I don’t.” 

“That makes sense, so what are you, some rich kid living off of daddy’s money?” 

He nods, smirking at you. “Rich brother’s money, but yeah. Or, he’s paying for me to go to college.” 

“That’s cool I guess.” You did not bother reaching for your bowl again, it wasn’t that great anyway. 

“Do you have a brother?” 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” You say sternly, cracking a finger, he seems to get the message and backs off, turning to start cleaning up his mess. 

“I’ll get out of your hair, then. But I will see you later.” 

You roll your eyes, sighing from your nose. “What, you didn’t want to take a shower with me, or curl up and watch Saturday morning cartoons or-”

“It’s Wednesday, and no. Or, yes, but I have somewhere I need to be so…” He trails off, putting dishes away so you wait for him to continue, which he doesn’t, not until he walks up to you and pulls you off the counter so he can snake his arms around your neck. “That will have to wait.” 

He kisses you, and it takes every ounce of your being not to pull back and run away, because damnit it’s so good what the hell. God, why did you allow this, what did he do wrong to be given such a temptation. 

As soon as it came, it was gone. Dirk pulled away, patting you on the shoulder and walked out to go get dressed. You put your bowl away, rinsing the food off of it and finished the bacon he left. 

He came out a few minutes later, glasses hooked to his shirt and one of your hats on his head. “See ya later, Bro.” He says as a passing thought, making his way to the door.

“Wait that’s my-” And he was gone, great. It didn’t really matter, you had plenty hats so he could have one. 

You leave the kitchen, making your way to the bedroom to find some clean clothes, you decide to pull your shades on since you were feeling really exposed right now, but the second you grab the glasses and attempt to put them on you realize they were way too small for you. Fuck, these are Dirk’s, he must have your’s. Fucking damn… Now you really have to see him again.


End file.
